I hate the phrase it could be worse, it undermines what that person is dealing with and can I fact make things worse. I've had that term used on my snd since I'm good at putting myself dorm it AIDS me into doing it. Makes me think your right it could be worse why am I being so weak/stupid with what's going on when others have it worse. And all that does is increase the self blaming and throw me deeper into what ever depression and or anxiety I am having at the moment.

I don't know why I am writing this I know my insomnia has been bad and getting worse and I'm just exhausted beyond reason and just wishing for a good night sleep. There is so much I need to get done and it's hard to do with no sleep I'm functioning but not succeeding and hating it all right now. I just want t some sleep. 

Insomnia

So sorry for my lack of post my insomnia is kicking my ass and I haven't been in the right state of mind to write. Honestly not really am now just figured I'd give a short update. Hubby is still not all that great they are trying to find the correct dosages to work correctly. I finished season 3 of Orphan Black haven't watched season 4 it's not free on prime and so decided to find something else to watch which I never have. Watch the first season/ episode of Sherlock and will be watching the other two. Definitely enjoyed it more then I expected. Not much else going on boys had dentist appointment today and they both did well.

First pic was from six months ago second today boys sure are growing!

Darkness Fair by Rachel A Marks, book review

 

Against the backdrop of an ancient battle between the forces of Light and the forces of Darkness, Aidan struggles to control the newly awakened and enigmatic powers that seem to be his only hope for rescuing Ava, his little sister, trapped somewhere beyond the Veil. As he gravitates to Kara, the beguiling and dangerously unstable girl who helped him realize his abilities, a terrible mistake of fate is revealed that points him back toward Rebecca, whose role is becoming more critical to the battle. And no matter what his heart wants, it might be too late to stop the pieces already in motion.

Without knowing the sacrifices that will be required of them, Aidan and his motley crew of friends—each with their own role to play—must face the demon threat head-on. They’re the only ones keeping the growing army of Darkness at bay, and if they fail, the future of humanity could be lost.

Honestly I do not know why I like this series but I do. Some of the characters are s bit cliche and when I look back at it not a ton happened this one and yet it kept me entertained. And unlike most books I've read as of late there wasn't any blaring parts that bugged me. Overall I liked this book the backdrop to it is more unique them some and one part even made me emotional.

The only negative thing I can say about it wax there were a few grammatical errors that should have been caught before it was released and even those were not as bad as book one. Saw only a few small errors there were more in book one. I will definitely be reading the last book in this series I gotta know what happens and especially what the hell is going on with one character in particular. Won't go into detail because I do recommend this book and the twists in this one are not fully predictable.

Halloween summer festival

Took the boys to the Halloween summer festival in Magna. 

Overall it was fun mainly went for the boys they love anything and everything Halloween. So we went. It mainly had booths that people were selling stuff out a grabbed a few cards from some of the local artists so that I can follow them on etsy.

The one on type has the cool looking jars with different items in. One I really liked I love seashells and it well contained seashells and was thirty dollars and as mentioned I don't have extra cash right now but looking is fun. 

^ screen cap of her etsy shop.

The bottom one  hillzart had some very unique drawings and some pretty jewelry made out of wood.  I've included a secret cap f some of her jewelry From her etsy site, so pretty and unique.

Went with my parents to the festival since hubby is adjusting to his new meds but not that well. Betting he will be calling cardiology once again tomorrow.

Also while we were out some people were dressed in some strange angle costumes guess they were unhappy with the Halloween festival? Not so great picture below its behind d the car :/.

Lastly two more photos from the festival top Star Wars motorcycle from Salt Lake Comic Con. And last speaks for itself just a random photo really🎃. 

Progress

Hubby was seen by cardiology once again today because he is tired of the aweful side effects of his medicine ch and needs something to be done. This time they listened! They have decreased his beta blocker by half and for the next two weeks no cholesterol meds. Hopefully he will feel more like himself. He's hoping he feels better by Saturday because I have plans to take the boys to a festival with my parents and he wants to feel well enough to go will just have to wait and see.

Side note I am so frustrated with my yard right now. Trying to keep it in ok shape. Can't add anything to broke for thy but at least trying to keep the weeds at bay but these keeps happening:

Think we have a vole problem. Darn little guys keep causing dirt piles all over my grass the damn things are destroying my yard. Don't know what we can do to get rid off them either. Can't afford an exterminator and doubt it would work hey are not just in my yard. Kill them

And they'll just come back :/. All I can say is they suck.

Orphan Black

After a while I can't handle the stuff the kids watch. So I was randomly looking at what was avaliable on my kindle through prime. I found Orphan Black and decided to watch the first episode. I'm now on season two because this show has me hooked. I won't go into to much detail but the main actress in this show is really good. She plays multiple characters and I have to constantly remind myself that it's all done by the same person. The characters she plays are so very different that it's hard to rap your mind around the fact it's all the played by the same person. The show is a bit sci fi-ish but yes I'm loving it. The first three seasons are pfree on prime hoping season four which just recently finished becomes free soon to cause I want to watch them all. 

I also may be back to reading more. After a week of insomnia I realized the nights I tend to sleep better are the nights I read a few chapters right before falling asleep! So yes back to more reading everyday again. I slept a little better last night hopefully the same thing happens tonight.

Sigh

Can I just say that medical stuff in general is beyond frustrating?? All these tests and still no answers from the doctors. He still feels off and we,as in him and myself feel it is side effects of the beta blocker he is taking but the doctors will not look at it or listen to us.

All we have been receiving from them is hey his heart looks great you shouldn't be having these symptoms! But he is! Gah! He's taken the papers in for his medicines which clearly list the side effects he is dealing with but they won't say that they could be causing it. So frustrating. All my husband wants is for someone to listen to him and see if he can be put onto a different beta blocker. He's looked into it the one he's on is not the only one he can take now to get someone to listen to him :/.

Small side note my next book review may not happen for a while. I am not in the right state of mind for reading. Once I do finish the book I'm reading I'll review it. It just may not happen this month.